Happy Father's Day!

A SPECIAL DAY FOR SPECIAL MEN

I miss my father, Robert J. West, every day.  Happy Father's Day to every one of you Dads out there.  Thanks for all you do, in every way, every day.

Happy Father's Day To All Dads Out There

SO MANY GREAT DADS...
I thought about trying to list all the fathers I know out there, then realized just how futile that would be.  I know so many really fantastic fathers that I certainly would leave many of you off the list.

MINE...
So, again this year let me remind you of my father, Robert J. West - a man admired by all who knew him and considered a surrogate father to many.  He was a kind, simple, hard-working man who passed away at age 64 - much, much too soon.  Next year he would have turned 100 years old. 

READ MORE...
I've written about this day most years I've had this blog.  You can read my entry from last year HERE and from 2012 HERE - that one has links to previous entries, too.  Enjoy...

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, GUYS!

Happy Father's Day, Guys...

 IT'S THAT TIME OF THE YEAR AGAIN!

Once again we'll all gather to smother our fathers with love this one day of the year... showering him with goofy gifts and gorging him with decadent BBQ... it's the perfect holiday, especially for those of you who are "first time fathers" this year.  Enjoy it.

I'VE TOLD IT MANY TIMES...
Most years since I've been publishing this blog I've written about this day and have told you stories of my father and friends who became de facto fathers to me.  I think I like the one I wrote in 2007 the best, HERE.  If you want to read the rest, just go to that search box in the upper left corner of this page and type in "Father's Day".. you'll get most of what I've written.

MY FATHER...
Those who have followed these pages know that my father, Robert J. West, was an uncomplicated, hard-working man.  I wrote about him in that linked item above.  He's been gone more than three decades and I miss his guidance every day.

MY MENTOR AND FRIEND...

This year Father's Day is especially tough for me because my dear neighbor, Wayne D. Stanfield, passed away a couple months ago.  He's shown here with his wonderful, loving wife, Barbara, who died three years ago.  I've written about him many times.  He has been my friend and mentor for nearly four decades.  And, as if his passing was not loss enough, today escrow closes on the home we saw from our kitchen window all those years, putting a final, painful exclamation point on the loss we feel.  It's our understanding that the buyers will lease it out for a few months while preparing plans for a new home on that beautiful, big lot, then scrape most of the existing structures and foliage down to dirt and start over with a home of their own design.  Such is life...

ENJOY THE DAY...
We here at A Bubbling Cauldron wish every one of you a very Happy Father's Day.  We hope you remember to tell your fathers just how you feel about him and the impact he's had on your lives.

Father's Day - 2012

I'VE SAID IT BEFORE
The past few years I've given you some personal views of Father's Day and told you more than a little about my own father and other fathers in my life.  You can read those entries HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE and HERE.  That last entry was about Eric and Ben.  Well, Eric is a father for the second time, with Finn joining big brother, Ben just in time to celebrate this year.

MY FATHER
As I've said many times before, my father, Robert J. West, was an uncomplicated man.  He was hard-working and honest and was surprised when other folks he encountered were not.  He led by example and devoted his life to his family and friends.  Not only was he my mentor, scout master and friend, he was the man against whom I measure myself every day.  He died much too soon and never saw a single letter to the editor, commentary or blog entry that I've written.  I think he's looking down now and is probably happy with what he sees.  I hope so.
 
TO ALL YOU FATHERS
I hope every father who reads this today has a wonderful day, surrounded by the ones they love.  Every one of them deserve it.

 

I LEAVE YOU WITH BYRON'S VIEW OF THE DAY
Today I'm going to leave you with  some words from my friend, Byron de Arakal, (shown below with his four great children Jeana, Lee, Melanie and Daniel) as quoted in Tom Johnson's most recent "Fair Game" column in the Orange County Register's The Current edition dated June 13, 2012.  You can read the entire column HERE.  When Johnson inquired about Father's Day with some of his friends, Byron responded thus:

"I'm not a big Father's Day guy.  This probably is not what golf courses, pubs and cigar lounges want to hear, or even other fathers (who use Father's Day as a hall pass to visit golf courses, pubs and cigar lounges). My perfect Father's Day is the small 'f', small 'd' variety. It's all the little instances that take place in the unfolding of a day or over the long haul of years that affirm I didn't take a gargantuan whiff as a father. It's the 'Thanks, Dad' from one of my four spectacular kids when they solicit my advice. It's the hugs from my sons and daughters that come sometimes for a reason and other times for no reason at all. But mostly my perfect father's day lives in my children every day. It's in their character, in the dreams and goals they have for their own lives, in their wins and even losses, and it's in how they treat others and one another. Really, father's day is every day for this dad."

Happy Father's Day To You All

Father's Day 2011 - Eric & Ben

ANOTHER TOUGH ONE
This year Father's Day is a strange one for me. If you care to read what I've written in recent years on this holiday you can do so by visiting those posts for 2007, 2008, 2009 and 2010 by clicking on those years.

MISSING A GREAT MAN
I miss my father, Robert J. West, every day. He was a simple, hardworking man and I measure my actions by what I think he would think about them.

THE DOC AND BEN
This year I want to tell you about a new father -Dr. Eric Teacher, husband of my niece, Ashley. Last August Ashley and Eric became the proud parents of Benjamin O'Brien Teacher - one of the coolest little guys you'll ever see. As the first grand child of Lawrence and Connie Cunningham, Ben's getting all the love he can handle - and is thriving because of it. This Father's Day is going to be very, very special for them all.



GOT ME A FOOTBALL BUDDY!
I'm really looking forward to young Ben's development. As you can see in this photo, he's an avid college football fan already, so he and I are going to be spending some great Saturdays in the fall of the year - rooting for our favorite teams. We just hope that once his father, Eric, finishes his residency he will remain close enough to visit us often. In the meantime, Eric - as most young fathers do - juggles the challenges of his profession and being a husband and dad, too. He's doing a great job!

Father's Day - 2010

A SAD DAY FOR ME
This weekend we all will celebrate another Father's Day, which always makes me sad. My own father, Robert J. West, died more than 30 years ago at age 64 - much too early - following a very brief bout with pancreatic cancer. I've written about him in the past - you can read one remembrance HERE.

MIXED WITH JOY
At the same time I'll be filled with joy for my friends who celebrate this day being pampered by their children. Today I wish each of you fathers out there a very, very happy day on Sunday. I'll be thinking about you, and the terrific job you're doing with your kids.

BYRON'S BOYS
I'll think about my friend, Byron de Arakal, beaming with pride, as his two sons graduated from college this spring a couple weeks apart.



AND MIKE'S, TOO
I'll think of my pal, "Mr. Fish Fry" Mike Scheafer, who will attend the weddings of two sons this year, gaining daughters in the deal.




AND TONY'S CREW
I'll think of my friend, Tony Dodero, who talks the talk and walks the walk as a terrific father of three beautiful children and author of a column, Go Ask Your Dad, in the OC Family magazine. You can read the June issue HERE.




ROB'S PRECIOUS DAY
I'll think of my nephew, Rob (named for my father), proud father of three great children and the mixed blessing he has this year. His youngest son, Nate, who just graduated from high school, will enlist in the Army in September, with a tour in Afghanistan assured sometime early next year. This Father's Day will be very precious for Rob.

DAVE'S SPECIAL DAY
I'll think of my cousin David, who will give his daughter, Miriah, in marriage to Travis under the oaks on her grandmother's ranch on Saturday this weekend. His son, Christian, will perform the service, so this will be a very, very special Father's Day for Dave.

WAYNE, FATHER TO US ALL
I can go on and on and still not mention everyone who will cross my mind this weekend but I cannot close without a mention of my dear friend and neighbor, Wayne Stanfield. He's been a surrogate "father" for me for more than three decades. Wayne's wife, Barbara, passed away a couple weeks ago and her services were attended by four generations of their family. Those events drove home to me, even more clearly than ever, the great value of family and just how revered my friend, Wayne, is in his family and extended family. He sets the benchmark for us all.

Happy Father's Day to you, my friends.

Father's Day - 2009

I MISS MY FATHER
Once again this weekend brings us the date that we honor and pamper our fathers. Although my father died early, many years ago, he's on my mind all the time - I really miss him. A couple years ago I wrote about him at length and provide, HERE, the link to that entry if you care to read about him.

FATHERS OF THE BEST NEIGHBORHOOD
Over here on the Eastside of Costa Mesa, in the best neighborhood in the city, we have many wonderful fathers who deserve all the accolades they will receive on Sunday. I won't try to mention them all, but will tell you a little about a few of them.

JIM, FATHER OF THREE SONS
In no particular order, we'll start with my friend, Jim, the proud father of three wonderful sons. The eldest graduated from college a year ago and is busily launching a career in a city far away. The middle son begins his junior year at Notre Dame and is having a ball even though they don't have much of a football team. The youngest just graduated from high school this year and will start his grand college adventure in the fall. Each of these young men reflect the strong moral values of their parents and the wise and steady hand of their father as he has guided them through this point in their lives.

NEIGHBORS BOB AND STAN
On the same section of street live Bob and Stan - across-the-street neighbors from each other for more than two decades. Both have two adult children - a son and daughter each - who have long flown the coop and are leading happy, successful lives with their own children. Bob and Stan, retired guys who enjoy each other's company at lunch frequently, continue to show love and support for their kids, as they have for more than 40 years.

PHIL, FATHER OF TWO BOYS
Closer to home is my neighbor, Phil - the father of two great sons. The eldest just finished his freshman year in college and the younger his freshman year in high school. Both young men reflect their father's work ethic and his joy of sport. Both give Phil many reasons to be proud of them, and his leadership and guidance in their lives. Both boys seem to have their father's engineering instincts and both will be successful men.

CRAIG, FATHER OF SIX! YIKES!
Looking directly out my window I can see the roof line of my friend and neighbor, Craig's, house. Almost any time now I expect to see two or three of his six wonderful children burst forth to play in the street - riding bikes, scooters, roller blades or just tossing the ball for their dog. Craig's three boys and three girls range from college age to six years old. The two eldest children have been away at college, but are home now. The middle three - two daughters and a son - are in school and the just-turned-six-year-old continues to brighten our street during the day with his laughter. Craig has a half dozen reasons to be filled with joy this Sunday because his children are the happiest, most polite group of urchins I've ever seen. We're glad to have them as our neighbors.

JOE, A GREAT GUY WITH FOUR GREAT KIDS
Around the corner at the end of the street we find my friend, Joe, the father of four of the best kids you'll find anywhere. They were raised while Joe and his lovely and patient wife juggled very active business lives, family demands and still found time to be community activists and civic leaders.The three eldest have finished college and have launched themselves into careers. Each of them show signs of their parent's inclination for community involvement - a great thing for us all. The youngest, a charming, bright and mature daughter in her early teens, demonstrates to us one more time the true value of caring parents. Joe is proud of every one of his children - a feeling that is reciprocated.

KURT, FATHER OF THREE
Our friend, Kurt, has three wonderful children - two boys in college and a daughter who may be the best athlete of the three of them. All three of them perform at a high level, combining a great work ethic and very special personalities. Kurt beams with pride when we talk about each of them.

TARAS, FATHER OF JOCKS
Across the street is Taras, father of two terrific kids. The son, a multi-sport star in high school - is in the home stretch of his college career and the daughter is about to begin hers. Both were star athletes in high school, in great part because of the loving support and encouragement their father gave them.

MY BUDDY, GRANDPA BARRY
Just down the street we find my pal, Barry - father of two grown kids and grandfather of two grandchildren. His children were just tykes when we moved into the neighborhood almost 36 years ago - two of only a half dozen rug rats in this little enclave at the time. We watched them grow into confident, successful adults and can see the results of Barry's guidance every time they come to visit.

PATIENT MIKE
Across the street from Barry is Mike, the perpetually patient and loving father of an extremely active, developmentally disabled teenage son. Mike is his father and friend, and tries to make his son's life in our neighborhood as normal, nurturing and meaningful as is possible - and does so very successfully.

WAYNE, "FATHER" TO US ALL
I cannot close this without a mention of my dear friend and neighbor, Wayne. He's mentioned in the previous entry, linked above, but he deserves special recognition here today. Although Wayne's actually about the age of an older brother to me, EVERYONE refers to him as "father". He is, in fact, a surrogate for my own father - a man to whom I look for guidance and the example of a life well-lived. The father of two, grandfather of four and great-grandfather of 7, he continues to spread his love, wisdom and guidance over four generations of his family. An uncomplicated man, he lives the best example of a "Christian life" that I've ever seen. Without preaching to you he just shows you the way...

I'VE MISSED A FEW...
I know I've missed some other fathers here in the neighborhood - some of the newer ones with small children. For that I apologize, but will comment that those overlooked also have flocks of great children who are growing and thriving by the touch of their father's hands. I love this neighborhood...

YOU ALL DESERVE A GREAT DAY!
So, a very Happy Father's Day to all of my neighborhood fathers and the rest of you fathers out there. Thanks for all you do for your kids as you love and guide them to becoming successful, caring, responsible adults and the framers of the future of our community.

A Sad, Special Father's Day

CONTEMPLATING TIM RUSSERT
With the untimely passing of NBC commentator Tim Russert last Friday - just two days before Father's Day - I've contemplated just what Father's Day means to me. Russert wrote and spoke frequently about the bond between him and his father, Big Russ, and with his own son, Luke. His honesty and passion came through loud and clear and have been repeated frequently over the past 48 hours as he was remembered by his friends and family.


MY ARCHIVED THOUGHTS
I contemplated writing about my father again, then re-read what I posted here last Father's Day and decided that I can't do better than that. So, I invite those of you interested to slide over to the Archives section on the right side of this page, scroll down to June, 2007 and work your way to the entry I wrote on June 14, 2007.

RUSSERT SET THE BAR HIGH
The outpouring of love and respect for Tim Russert since his passing - a man who has written two best-selling books about his relationship with his father and with whom I shared most Sunday mornings - made me realize how lucky I've been in my life to have had my own father as a role model. I think of my father every single day. As I said a year ago, part of his place in my life has been filled by my neighbor, Wayne Stanfield, who - as he approaches 80 years of age - continues to set the example of a life well-led.

DON'T WAIT!
Today tell your father what he means to you. Don't let another day pass without re-affirming that bond.

Happy Father's Day to you all.

A Father's Day Memoir

On the banner at the top of this page I warned the readers that, from time to time, the content of this blog will go off on a tangent. This entry is one of those times. If you're looking for political observations today, just click your cursor and move on.


Father's Day is a tough holiday for me. My own father, Robert J. West, died more than 27 years ago, two years after he retired from a career in which he worked sixty plus hours a week for more than thirty years to make a good life for his family.

My father was an uncomplicated man. One of five siblings being raised by a single mother - his own father passed away at a very young age - he left school early to help support the family. With only an eighth grade education, his options were limited. He even spent some time with a circus, but ended up working as a floor covering installer - carpet and vinyl tile. Ineligible for military service in World War II because of a childhood knee injury, he worked two full time jobs for the duration of the war - one as a carpet installer and one as a defense plant worker.

At the end of the war my father joined thousands of others in a migration from the mid-west to California, to find a job where he could work without the possibility of freezing to death in his truck, as almost happened in the winter of 1945 in Ohio. He began his own carpet installation business and found a modest home to buy before sending for his family. From that time, in 1946, until he retired in 1977, he worked twelve hours a day, five days a week, plus a half day on Saturday, to make a good life for us.

I learned much from my father. Following his example, I learned to treat everyone fairly and honestly. You could trust my father. As I said, he was an uncomplicated man. It frustrated him when business associates tried to cheat him, since cheating was not in his lexicon. The business he operated with my uncle was small potatoes, employing only 20 men at it's peak. He had a core of men - maybe 10 - who worked for him for more than 20 years. When business expanded he would split up his two-man teams and hire helpers to fill the spots. When it slowed down he would lay off the helpers and re-combine the teams. When work got really slow, which happened from time to time, he would spread what little work there was among his crews so each would be able to make it through the difficult times and feed their families.

He ran his business the way he conducted the rest of his life - with great integrity. He trusted everyone until he was given a reason to do otherwise. He stood behind his work and that of his employees and that reputation for reliability and quality kept him in business for those many decades.

My father was a man so revered by his acquaintances and employees that he was referred to by many as "father". That caused confusion from time to time, because strangers overhearing that term of endearment from men his own age assumed he was a priest. He wasn't, of course, but he was a deacon in our church and Scout Master of our Boy Scout troop. He was an honest, hard-working leader of men. My father didn't tell you how to live your life - he gave you the example by the way he lived his.

Several of my high school friends worked for my father - some longer than others. A few used their jobs with him as simply a way to earn money during the pursuit of their education. Others made that tough job a career and spent more than 20 years - with smashed and cut fingers, swollen knees and aching backs - lifting those rolls of pad and carpet, moving the heavy furniture in and out of houses and crawling around homes throughout southern California installing floor coverings.

Here's a story that may help illustrate the kind of man my father was. A few years ago - at that time my father had been gone for a decade - a friend and I were having lunch a few blocks from my home at an outdoor eating area when I noticed a fellow and a younger guy sitting about ten yards away, eating and talking. I thought I recognized the older one, and mentioned it to my friend. We sat and talked and ate and, every once in awhile, I'd glance over at those two men and was sure I recognized the older fellow. Finally, as we finished and were about to depart, I excused myself and went over to the table where the two men were also preparing to leave. I walked up and said to the older one, "Excuse me, but can you tell me your name?" He said, "Cliff", to which I said his last name. I had gone to high school with him and his twin brother and he, as luck would have it, was in town from his home in Utah for his daughter's wedding and was having lunch with his son. After a astonished greeting by us both, the next words out of his mouth were, "Your father was the best man I've ever known."

Cliff had worked for my father right out of high school, earning money for college. He hated every day as a carpet layer's helper - he felt the job was beneath him - and it used to really make me angry when he complained about it. He eventually quit, completed his education, began working as a civil engineer, got married and started raising a family. I'd lost track of him for more than 25 years. However, life threw him some curve balls, his marriage broke up and the wife moved to Utah with their youngest son. My friend, disenchanted with engineering work, followed along and began working at the trade he learned from my father - installing carpet and vinyl tile for a living.

We visited for a couple minutes, then he agreed to join me at my home, where we spent four hours talking about old times. Through it all there was one theme - his admiration for my father and the life-lessons he learned while being around him.

This story is only one of many I've heard over the years from men and women who knew and loved my father like he was their very own.

When we moved to our present home more than three decades ago I was lucky enough to inherit a neighbor, Wayne Stanfield, who, although more like an older brother age-wise, conducted himself like a father. In fact, he, too, is referred to by many friends as "father". He, too, is a God-fearing, uncomplicated man who has made his living much like my father did - through honesty, hard work and long hours. When my father died a generation ago, Wayne's presence helped fill that tremendous void. To this day he remains a source of unflagging love and support for me and all his friends and family. He's one of the finest men I've ever known.

I'm a very lucky man, because I've had many friends in my life who have helped shape the person I've become. I've had friends and mentors throughout my career who have pounded out a dent here and there and applied a buffer to the rough spots. They've reined me in where necessary and given me my head - to find my own speed - at other times. These are men I've admired, learned from and tried to emulate throughout my life.

On this Father's Day, I want to express just how grateful I am for these two special men in my life. I'm grateful for my father, whose example helped form the foundation of who I became for the first half of my life. I'm also grateful for my friend, Wayne, who has participated, through his example, patience, wise counsel and faith, in the constant renovation of my life over the last half of it. One taught me from the very beginning the virtue of honesty, integrity, loyalty and hard work. The other reinforced those virtues and demonstrated, by the way he lives his life every day, that kindness, understanding and love still have a place in our society today.

On this holiday I hope each of you fathers out there who might read this will do the very best you can to mold those young lives you've created. A gentle hand and a kind, encouraging word will do more to motivate than a swat on the behind and a threat. Don't tell your children how to conduct themselves - show them by your example.

Remember, time is fleeting. If you teach your children kindness and compassion today, perhaps those kids - whose drool you wiped and diapers you changed - will return those favors in the not-too-distant future.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO YOU ALL