GRIEF, ANGER AND FRUSTRATION

A REMEMBRANCE - A year ago I wrote HERE about the passing of a friend - a man I'd known since the first day of kindergarten.  It was a melancholy remembrance, posted to mark a major change in my life - a time when more and more friends and acquaintances depart their earthly ties.

ONCE MORE - Early this morning I wrote on my Facebook page about the passing of a very dear friend and neighbor, Barry Mason, yesterday evening.  My wife and I spent a few hours at his home comforting his long-time companion and helping her deal with the necessary details involved with this kind of a situation.

THE POTOMAC PLANE CRASH - Meanwhile, most of the country was glued to their televisions, watching the coverage of the crash between a commercial airliner and a military helicopter over the Potomac River adjacent to Reagan International Airport in Washington, D.C., looking for explanations and grieving the 67 souls lost in that tragic accident.  None were yet forthcoming.

IDIOT-IN-CHIEF - I awoke a little late this morning - I didn't actually hit the sack until around 3 a.m. as I contemplated the passing of my neighbor.  I immediately called his companion to be sure she was doing OK, then checked communications from friends and found several expressing outrage at the comments being made by President Donald Trump about the air accident.  When I finally dragged myself out of bed, cleaned up a little and, through bleary eyes, I watched replays of  news reports of the accident, including Trump's comments.  I was stunned by the thoughtless, heartless, ignorant speculation he was spewing to the world on the issue.  He had already decided the accident was due to misguided DEI hires and was blaming the Biden administration - before a single fact about the crash had been authenticated!  All the while,  loved ones of the crash victims are looking for the truth, not speculation by the President, yet, that's what they, and we, are getting.

SAME AS THE FIRE INFORMATION - This kind of uninformed, speculative, bloviations were exactly the kind of bilge he puked out at the press event after touring the Palisades Fire site last week.  He chided state and local officials for not "turning on the spigot" to route more water from the Pacific Northwest to quash the fires - which, according to actual knowledgable experts, would not have helped with 100+ mph winds fanning the fires.  He consistently fails to grasp his depth of ignorance on important issues (I guess that's kind of redundant, huh?)

GRIEVING MORE THAN THE LOSS OF FRIENDS - Today, running on fumes, I continue to grieve the loss of my dear neighbor and friend.  Today I also grieve for our nation that has elected an ignorant,  callous, thoughtless bully as the President of the United States.  I grieve because, based on his public utterances and actions after only a few days in office, he shows us the path he is planning on taking this country over the next 1,451 days - and I'm terrified!

DESTROYING THE ECONOMY, ALIENATING ALLIES AND PROVOKING ENEMIES - Every day we see him perform acts and making statements that seem aimed at destroying the very foundation of this country - the Constitution!  Time after time he attempts to toss aside portions of that document designed to provide protection for us all from abuse of power and - dictatorship!

APPOINTING INEXPERIENCED SYCOPHANTS AND BOOTLICKERS - We've seen him nominate some candidates for senior advisory positions who bring almost no relevant experience to the job - just blind loyalty to the man himself.  This reeks of behavior of a certain World War II dictator who began exactly the same way - and I am terrified.

HIS BEHAVIOR SHOWS US JUST WHO HE IS - Trump has demonstrated that he is a mean-spirited, vindictive, ignorant human being throughout his life and with recent actions.  During his first tour as President he surrounded himself with old hands in government - men and women of great character who actually understood the jobs and tried to do them to the best of their abilities.  Trump fired many of them when they pushed back on his inane proposals.  Since taking over two weeks ago he has cancelled protections provided to a few of them - protections necessary because of their actions and views expressed in their service to this country made them subject of death threats by foreign governments and others.  Without careful contemplation of the impact of his actions he issued a few dozen Executive Orders, many of which gut existing programs and place tariffs on goods from countries that will certainly impact American consumers in a very negative way.  He bellows brainless screeds, then is forced to have his staff backpedal when legal challenges are put forth.  He is a blustering, brainless buffoon who poses a real threat to our form of government and way of life.

FINGERS CROSSED - So, sleep-deprived as I am this afternoon, I will do my best to contemplate a bright future for our country as real, honest-to-goodness fine human beings like my neighbor pass on.  As a friend recently reminded me, Tocqueville told us that we will get the government we deserve.  Will we ever learn?

ANOTHER YEAR, ANOTHER THANKSGIVING DAY

LOTS OF THINGS FOR WHICH TO BE THANKFUL

Here we are, on Thanksgiving Day, 2018, and I’ve decided to write another entry on this blog.  I have more to say than I feel comfortable trying to squeeze into a Facebook post, but my Facebook buddies can read this because I’ll link to it. As an old coot, I’ve seen many of these Thanksgiving Days and every year I am, indeed, thankful for the wonderful things I have in my life.  I’ll list a few for you and maybe it will stir some memories of your own.

THANKFUL FOR MY SWEET SUSIE

Right at the top, I’m grateful for my sweet, loving and VERY patient wife, Susie.  We’ve been married for 51 years - and counting - and through it all she has been at my side, supporting me as we waded through five relocations, a couple career changes and, for the last more than 15 years, as I tried to enlighten the public with my political (and other) observations.  She’s been there as health issues slapped me around.  She is the BEST thing that ever happened to me in my life - and I’ve had a LOT of great things happen to me!

THANKFUL FOR MY PARENTS

I’m thankful for my family.  My parents, Bob and Dorothy West, were both hard-working people who did everything within their power to create a loving home for my two sisters and me.  Through their example we saw good, caring people.  Through their simple lesson of kindness and friendliness to others we learned a lesson that cannot be acquired through a costly education.  We learned how to treat people.  I learned to read sitting on my Mother’s lap at a very early age and that became foundational for everything I’ve done in life.  While working with my Father I saw, through his example, that through hard work, honesty and fairness a person  CAN succeed in business.  Although never wealthy, they found ways to permit us to do things that interested us - to help us to spread our wings.  I’m not sure we fully understood the sacrifices they made on our behalf until much later in life.  I miss them every day.

THANKFUL FOR MY SISTERS

I’m thankful for my two younger sisters, Linda and Cheryll.  I’ve learned a lot as I watched them navigate life, though the good and bad times.  I admire both of them for their steadfastness, the choices they’ve made and their accomplishments wives, as single Moms and as mothers to three wonderful children and grandmothers to a half-dozen lovely grandkids.  I’m thankful for my elder step-sister, Margaret, but have lost touch with her and her boys.  Things happen like that.

THANKFUL FOR AUNTS, UNCLES AND COUSINS

I’m thankful for my aunts and uncles, all of whom have now passed, and for their kids - my cousins.  They all have played a major role in my life and I’m happy some of us still remain in contact.  I love them all.

THANKFUL FOR SUSIE’S FAMILY, TOO…

I’m thankful for the wonderful family I became part of when I married my sweet Susie.  Her immigrant parents showed the world what newcomers to this country can accomplish.  They were smart, hard-working, kind, genteel, people who knew how to laugh and spread love to all around them.  Her three brothers are wonderful, successful men, who married wonderful women and who have become parents of nine great children and are now grandparents to eleven terrific kids.  I love them all.

THANKFUL FOR FRIENDS, OLD AND NEW

I’m thankful for old friends and new.  As we have traveled through life we’ve met some wonderful folks, many of whom have become not just correspondents, but good friends. I still meet a few high school classmates for lunch quarterly, but those numbers are dwindling.  I still have lunch most weeks of the year with a man I’ve known since the first day of kindergarten.  We share great childhood memories and a love of sports, so there’s never a loss for things to chat about.  We will celebrate our 60th high school reunion next year, when we will gather with many of our classmates to, once again, share wonderful stories of our lives.  I’m very lucky to have remained in touch with so many of those folks who helped shape the early years of my life.  Sadly, there will be many fewer this year than in years past.

THANKFUL FOR LARRY MOORE

I’m thankful for those friends who have passed on.  Life and circumstance takes its toll… sometimes much too early.  Those of you who have followed this blog know that I lost my best friend for 57 years, Larry Moore, 15 years ago when he succumbed to injuries from a motorcycle accident.  As I sat at his bedside for the six weeks he was in the Trauma Intensive Care Unit in that Las Vegas hospital, trying to help the doctors attending him to make the decisions that would return him to us, I spent a lot of time contemplating our lives together.  I almost always smiled - sometimes laughed out loud - as I thought about our adventures together.  It was almost like a Tom Sawyer/Huck Finn story.  And, of course, there were times when I had tears running down my cheeks, too.  Not a day goes by that I don’t miss my friend.

THANKFUL FOR OTHERS, TOO…

And, there were many others who were part of my life that have left us.  Each of those, whether friend or family, made an impression on me and my life and I’m thankful for them.

THANKFUL FOR MY MILITARY BUDDIES

I’m thankful for the men with whom I shared a service commitment during the middle 1960’s, when the Vietnam War was heating up.  Some, like me, were draftees - summoned to serve due to the pending escalation of that war.  Others were volunteers, most of whom had signed up before Vietnam began to boil.  Together we shared the obligation of military service, even though it was not popular at the time.  I’m still in touch with some of them, or their surviving families, and am grateful for those relationships.

THANKFUL FOR MY BOSSES

I’m thankful to those men who helped nurture and shape my life in the business world.  Most of them are now gone, but certainly not forgotten. They saw things in me that I did not, and advanced my career much more rapidly than I could have expected.  They taught me to trust my gut in many circumstances, just as they trusted theirs when it came to opportunities made available to me.  When I leaped, head-first, out of a safe business nest into the world of consulting, it was due  in great part, to the confidence they had in me.  It turns out they were right.

THANKFUL FOR THE EDITORS

I’m thankful for those editors of local newspapers who published my early submissions and encouraged me to write more.  Many of them offered me a column, for which I have always been thankful, but always chose to respectfully decline.  I didn’t want to write on assignment.  I may occasionally submit something for them to consider and I’ll always be thankful if they print my thoughts.

THANKFUL FOR THE KIND WORDS

I’m very thankful for the kind words and encouragement of those who felt my contributions to the community were worthy of recognition.  It’s heady stuff when the blog, the work product of a simple, old guy with too much time on his hands, is recognized as the best in Orange County - twice - and when the editors of the Daily Pilot chose to include my name of those 103 individuals they felt were “influential” in the community - several times.  

THANKFUL TO THE CITY STAFF

I’m thankful to the men and women who work for the City of Costa Mesa - many of whom have become my friends - for, not only their professionalism and steadfastness in bleak times, but for their recognition of my support for their efforts.  A high point of my life was the day they presented me with a plaque of gratitude.

THANKFUL FOR YOU, TOO

I’m thankful, of course, for those of you who have read this blog over the years.  I’m thankful for those who chose to participate in the discussions here, to keep the dialogue going on important issues.  We’ve had some interesting discussions, where some of you tried to show me the error of my ways - usually unsuccessfully.   I will always be thankful for those discussions.

THANKFUL FOR MY DOCTORS

In recent years I’ve been very thankful for the doctors who now attend me more often than I would like.  I’ve worn a couple of them out and had to replace them with new guys.  Still, now that I’m well into my seventh decade of existence, it’s not unexpected for joints to need lubrication, critical parts to need tuning up and more attention paid to this old carcass in general.  I’m thankful for their patience as I ignore too many of their suggestions.  I’m working on that.

THANKFUL FOR FACEBOOK, TOO

On that note, I’m thankful to still be here, pounding on this keyboard, sending my thoughts to you all.  I’m thankful for you and my Facebook buddies - I hesitate to call them “friends” because darn Mark Zuckerberg has actually diluted what that word once meant!  Still, I’m thankful for his creation, which allows me to stay in touch with friends and relatives who live far away - to share their lives on an almost second-by-second basis, with photos of personal and family triumphs (and tragedies, too).

YOU WON’T SEE MUCH FROM ME

Now that this election is over and, for all intents and purposes, the races are decided, it’s very unlikely that you will see much more from me here.  I’m generally pleased with the outcome and look forward very much to watching Mayor Katrina Foley and the new team that will join her on the City Council dais next month begin to re-establish the goals of our city to conform with the wishes of the voters, so clearly stated in the last two elections.  Although there will always be something to write about in my town, I’m going to try very hard to let someone else do it.

ENJOY YOUR LIFE - JUST THROW THAT BALL!

And now, Susie and I want to wish you all a VERY HAPPY THANKSGIVING.  I have been, and continue to be, thankful for the part you’ve played in my life.  I hope you find ways to share your love over this holiday.  You just never know what kind of a curve ball life will throw you - like our 4 year-old great-nephew, Chase, who was diagnosed with leukemia last week and faces years of chemotherapy ahead - so be sure those you love know it.  If there are things you want to do, do them.  Play this game of life like you’re the Rams and Chiefs last Monday night - just get out there and throw that ball!  We love you all…

Reprise of "Resolve To Share Your Love"

Today, July 30, 2007, would have been the 66th birthday of Larry Moore, my best friend for 57 years of our lives. Some of you know the story of his passing at the end of 2003 following a horrendous motorcycle accident. On January 18, 2004 the Daily Pilot published the following commentary. In honor of my friend, and to mark the anniversary of his birth, I've reproduced it here for you.

Not a day passes when I don't think of my friend and our lives together. I recall the positive impact he made on the people around him, the love he shared with all of us and the contribution he made to law enforcement around the world. I hope that, when you read this remembrance, you will pause in your busy lives and contemplate your friends and how much they mean to you. More than that, I hope you will find a way to tell each of them how you feel. Life is short - don't wait.

***

Resolve To Share Your Love

By Geoff West

January 18, 2004

I hope your 2003 ended with days filled with visions of sugar plums dancing in your head, holiday spirit lifting you and the joy of loved ones surrounding you.

I ended my year standing before an overflow crowd at the alter in an unfamiliar church, delivering a eulogy for a man who had been my best friend since we were 5 years old. I stood before the throng, which included childhood friends and relatives, college friends, friends he had made during more than 30 years on the job, and more recent friends, acquired after retirement, and I tried to condense a lifetime of friendship into the very short time allotted to me on that cool, dreary post-Christmas day.

Before it was my turn to speak, I sat clutching my wife's hand, fighting back tears, as my friend's eldest daughter — from whom he had been estranged for nearly a decade at her request — spoke eloquently and passionately about her father.

She told us a story of how, many years ago, a cruel schoolmate teased her about his profession as a police officer. She had been taunted as a "piglet" — the offspring of a "pig." Her father explained to her that the term "pig" was an acronym for pride, integrity and guts.

She told us example after example of her father's pride, integrity and guts, both as a father and policeman. As I listened to this young woman speak, beaming with pride as she talked about her father, it was clear why she had chosen to follow him into law enforcement as a career.

My thoughts flashed back to the last few weeks of my friend's life — when he hovered near death for 44 days in a distant hospital after suffering horrendous injuries from a motorcycle accident on a lonely desert road early in November. By all rights, he should not have survived the crash, but a series of fortuitous events converged to save his life.

He was discovered almost immediately by a group of foreign tourists — strangers in a strange land — who summoned nearby railroad workers. They, in turn, summoned the rescue workers, stayed at his side until they arrived and insisted that he be helicoptered to the right hospital, where his life was saved.

For a month and a half, I stayed near his bedside and watched the staff at the hospital as they skillfully juggled procedures and medications — trying to find the right combination of treatment that would return my friend to us. It was a roller coaster ride for us all, but especially for my friend, who fought with all his considerable strength to come back.

Very early one morning in the last week of his life, a conscientious nurse turned off his sedation, which had kept him floating in and out of consciousness, to see how he would react to the change. The goal being to prepare him for release to a rehabilitation facility. Coincidentally, or perhaps guided by something else, his former wife and the eldest daughter — who had spontaneously decided to make that long drive across the desert to see him — arrived at precisely that time and ended up having a wonderful visit with him.

Even though he could not speak, he was able to communicate through the firm squeeze of his hand, the nod of his head, crinkling of his brow and tear-filled smiles. In the pre-dawn hours that morning, in the trauma intensive care unit in a hospital in a city far from home, he reconciled with his daughter. Having lost his father much too early, and feeling that he had left some important things unsaid, my friend made it a point to tell his friends how he felt about us. When he grabbed you in a bear hug and said, "I love you, amigo," you knew he meant it.

Later that week, as I stood in the doorway of his hospital room for the last 15 minutes of his life and watched his doctor orchestrate a dozen people trying — unsuccessfully — to bring him back one more time, I knew he left us with nothing unresolved.

I share this very painful, personal story with you today to remind you, as you prepare unattainable New Year's resolutions, that life is much too short. I encourage you to make only one resolution this year: to tell the people you love how you feel. And keep it. Remember my friend and his daughter, and don't wait until it's too late.

I wish a safe and happy new year to you all.

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• GEOFF WEST is a Costa Mesa resident.