Pride Flag To Fly Over Costa Mesa?

I’M BACK.... BRIEFLY
I’ve chosen to post this here, on my dozing blog, rather than to post a long, long Facebook entry.  If, after you’ve read this, you’re moved to comment on it please return to my Facebook page to post your thoughts.  The “comments” feature has been disabled here on the blog.

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DECISIONS CAN CHANGE YOU CHANGE FOREVER
Occasionally life presents you with a moment where the next decision you make may change your life forever.   Sometimes it is something as simple as making a wrong driving decision and causing an accident.  Sometimes it could be a careless word that harms someone.  Sometimes it’s more complex than that…

TOUGH CHOICES
On the one hand you can choose to ignore a controversial situation completely and life will go on as usual, with the same folks who admire you continuing to do so.  On the other, you can state a clear position on the issue knowing full well that many of those people will change their opinion of you - maybe hate your guts forever.  This is one of those moments for me.

FRIENDS AND OTHERS
For most of the past decade and a half I’ve written here and elsewhere, mostly expressing my views on local political issues. During that time I accumulated many admirers and more than a few enemies.  That’s kind of what happens when you express opinions on sensitive or controversial issues.  I am very grateful to those who chose to read what I've written - even those who did not agree with me.

FLAG POLICY AND PRIDE
Today, Tuesday, May 7th, at the request of rookie council member Arlis Reynolds, the Costa Mesa City Council will consider, in their final agenda item during their meeting at the Senior Center tonight, a new Flag Policy and whether or not to authorize the display of the Pride Flag for five weeks each year - from May 22nd, in remembrance of murdered gay San Francisco Supervisor Harvey Milk, and continue to fly the flag through the month of June to apparently acknowledge the LGBT community.  You can read the staff report HERE.

YES… AND NO
So, right up front...  I agree we should have a formal Flag Policy, but disagree that we should display the Pride Flag at all, much less for 5 weeks every year.  In researching this it's hard for me to determine just which flag would be flying over City Hall... there seems to be significant disagreement within the LGBT community as to what constitutes the "official flag".

GOODBYE TO SOME
(Some of you will have signed off now, not caring why this is my opinion.  Others will have hung around, looking for more reasons to vilify me.  So be it.)

GAYS IN MY LIFE
In my life I have known and admired many gay people.  I have friends, neighbors and relatives who are gay and I love and admire every one of them.  I know several gay couples, each of whom seem to be very happy in their choice.  In all the years that I’ve written for public consumption I doubt you will find any clue to my views on the gay lifestyle.  That was intentional - I am tolerant of the gay lifestyle and I didn’t want to alienate those of you who feel strongly in support of that lifestyle.  Today’s entry will very likely change that...

FORCED TO MAKE A CHOICE
Perhaps it’s because I’ve rounded the far turn and am in the home stretch in this race called life, but I find myself less patient - on many issues.  I still listen to opposing viewpoints, but I've been around awhile, so it's not as easy to convince me today.  I’m not less patient with gays, per se, but with being force-fed this lifestyle.  For example, for the past couple years it seems that almost every single television drama or comedy finds it necessary to include a gay sub-plot.  We notice more and more commercials have similar gay references. This is distressing to me, because they seem to serve no purpose except to pander to the LGBT community and force me to accept these plot elements and, maybe change my views.  My only choices are to watch or turn off the program.  It’s really pretty simple... I do not want these views forced upon me. 

SOME NUMBERS
The latest numbers I can find indicate that around 4.5% of the American population identifies itself as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual or Transgender.  HERE and HERE are two links for your education.  It’s interesting that the numbers among millenials is over 8% and that Washington, D.C. shows well over 8%.  I won’t get into the argument about whether these lifestyles are “learned” or something one is born with.  As far as I can tell, that argument is still wide open and I don’t intend to debate it here or anywhere.  HERE is a link discussing the “movement”.  And, HERE is a link from Chapman University that addresses Health and Safety LBGT Youth in Orange County.

BIG DECISION FOR ME
The proposal being considered by the council tonight is a watershed moment for me.  I think it is a major overreach on this issue.  I’m not convinced we ever need to display the Pride Flag, nor do I think it is appropriate for us to memorialize Harvey Milk in Costa Mesa.   But, if the council is going to seriously consider this issue, and they decide they must do something, I hope they will decide to display the Pride Flag for only one day - or maybe a few -  perhaps sometime in the middle of June, so it doesn’t bleed into Memorial Day or Independence Day.

IT IS WHAT IT IS…
To those of you who are disappointed with my position on this issue, I apologize… but it is what it is.  If you choose to turn your back on me because of this issue, I guess I understand… it was part of what I considered before I began typing this epistle.  You have always had the freedom to read, or not read, what I’ve written on any subject on any of the many platforms on which my thoughts have appeared.  You've always had the freedom to agree or not agree with my opinions.  If you’ve chosen to leave, I thank you for your support in the past and wish you well.  I am not trying to convince anyone of my opinion on this one... only to state it and let the chips fall where they may.

Editorial Got It Wrong

OFFENDED BY EDITORIAL
As a Vietnam-era veteran who lost several compatriots in that meaningless war, whose uncles proudly served this country in World War II and whose grand-nephew presently serves in Afghanistan, I was profoundly offended by the editorial published in the Daily Pilot online May 26th titled, "Honor the fallen in the civil rights war too", HERE.

THE REASON FOR THIS HOLIDAY
The reason for the Memorial Day holiday is to pause and reflect on the hundreds of thousands of men and women who gave the ultimate sacrifice in ALL our military engagements, whether we called them "wars" or "police actions" or "skirmishes".  It is to pay our respects to those brave people who died in the military service to our country - ALL of them.


DISRESPECT FOR THOSE WHO SERVED AND DIED
For the Daily Pilot to publish an editorial that attempts to somehow equate the death of Harvey Milk - a military veteran and openly-gay politician who was murdered by a deranged colleague -  to those men and women who died in military service to this country is a despicable act of disrespect to all who served and died, to those who served with them and to those who survived them and honor their memory this weekend.

THEY, TOO, SERVED
During my tour of service nearly 50 years ago I served with men I knew to be gay and some women who were lesbians.  They did not hide their sexual orientation, but neither did they flaunt it.  All I saw were men and women proudly serving their country and I was proud to serve along side them. 

INAPPROPRIATE AND OFFENSIVE
In my view, it is completely inappropriate for an editorial that begins purporting to honor those who died in military service to this country to be morphed into a a gay and lesbian rights manifesto.  Whether the Orange County Board of Supervisors fails to designate recognition of Harvey Milk's birthday or not may be a subject for ANOTHER editorial, but not one that honors fallen military men and women.

 INSENSITIVITY
I would be very surprised to learn that ANY member of the Daily Pilot Editorial Board has ever served in the military.  If they had,  they would understand just how inappropriate and offensive this particular editorial is to those of us who have served.  My comment is NOT an anti-gay screed, although I suspect some will attempt to characterize it as such.  It is simply an expression of my disappointment in the Daily Pilot Editorial Board for its insensitivity - nothing more.