Rappin' With Ramos

RAMOS ANNOUNCES HIS CANDIDACY
As most already know, my Eastside neighbor, Lee Ramos, announced his candidacy for a City Council seat in the fall at a shindig at lame duck councilman Gary Monahan's gin mill earlier this week.  Bradley Zint wrote a nice piece about the event in the Daily Pilot, HERE.  If you've not seen it please DO read it because it contains some interesting quotes from Lee.

THINKING ABOUT IT
Sometimes an event will get my creative juices flowing, as was the case this time.  I thought about Lee's candidacy and out came as a rhyme.  (Oops, gave it away, didn't I?)

SING ALONG TO THE BEAT

So, please sing along with "Lee" on the following string of verse. 
First we'll need to establish the beat.  It should go something like this:

Ka-thumpa Bump Bump
Ka-thumpa Bump Bump
Ka-thumpa Bump Bump
Ka-thumpa Bump Bump 

Got it?  OK, here we go...  Ah, One, Ah, Two...

Well, hello there, everybody
My name is Lee,
And I'll be any kind of candidate
That you want me to be.

A little wiggle to the left
A little waffle to the right,
And I can look like a chameleon
All day or night.

I've lived in Costa Mesa
For 47 years,
Yes, I'm a Latino
But don't have any fears.

Last time I had an identity crisis
That anyone could see,
People thought I was Asian
Because my signs said "Vote for Lee".

But half way through the cycle
I changed my campaign team,
And my tactics became
Much more mainstream.

The signs now proclaimed
That Ramos is your guy,
But Latinos don't vote
So why even bother to try?

Everybody loved me
As I went door to door,
But it just didn't show up
On my election score.

But this time around
I'm going to be everybody's man,
And I might even show up at forums
To try to explain my plan.

In my announcement I said
"Balance will be the key",
And that is really true
As you're about to see.

I'll tip-toe atop the fence
With very special care,
I won't be forced to take a position
Because that's just not fair.

When asked about an issue
And without even knowing,
I'll stick my finger in the wind
To see which way it's blowing.

The difference this time
Is that "I know what's right",
It's only taken seven decades
Because I'm not very bright.

I'm going to be my own man
And not join any slates,
And this time I might even
Participate in debates.

And if you vote for Lee
Please don't fret,
Because what you see
Is what you're gonna get.

 I'm a man with few positions
To tell you all about,
And for those few I do have
I can hardly get the words out.

But my pals really want me
In this next council race,
To suck off some votes from others
And throw them off their pace.

I can't beat Steve or Sandy
Each will likely hold their seat,
But Gary's slot is open
And Jay's probably the guy to beat.

It's quite early in the race
But it looks like Bunyan's back again,
Last time he finished dead last
Because losing is his game.

And I hear rumors that the CMPS babe
Julie something-or-other is her name,
May also run this time
Quite a change for she of "fake innocent" fame.

Her presence on the ballot
Like clueless Rita the last time,
Makes no sense at all
So I won't even bother with a rhyme.

I don't know if this time
I'll be walking and knocking on your door,
I sued a city contractor because I hurt myself
And my old body's still mighty sore.

But if you happen to see me
Waddling down your street,
Be sure to stop me
For a little meet-and-greet.

I'll be the old fella
With gray hair and a great tan,
And I'd love to tell you
Just why I am your man.

But please don't ask me any questions
With answers that are too hard,
Or I may just go and pass out
Right there in your front yard.

Next fall you'll have lots of choices
To fill a council slot,
And most of them will be better than me
But I thought I'd give it a shot.

So let me leave you with this final thought
Lee Ramos is your guy,
But for the life of me
I just can't figure out why.